Day 4: Friendship

So I already missed a day! Yesterday I had a paper due, and as a chronic procrastinator, I had serious problems after it wasn't working to create a PDF file, and so I had to hurry to the library to print it since our printer had run out of ink that morning. Very exciting!

Throughout the few years I have been alive, one of the topics that I had to learn was that of friends. In my younger years, I would periodically want friends. One time I wrote a bunch of people and became pen pals with two of them. Another time, I volunteered, and had the illusionary idea that I had tons of friends, which of course was simply not true.

I've spent a lot of time around people who do not want to be my friends, and I've lost a lot of friends. However, I've realized that when I have a few good friends, it's OK. And that's partially because there are only so many people that each individual can really "click" with. I have had people who act like they like to be around me, but I really can't stand being around them. Most people don't see the real me, which is more rebel than many would suspect. I appear to be shy and the kind of person who would be your crutch, but I'm really not.

Spending time with my peers is often frustrating to me, because the typical conversation revolves around "How was your week?" or "How did school go?" I want to talk about politics and books. Sometimes I desperately want to talk to someone who has something in common with me, and with whom I can have a real conversation.

Friendship is necessary, I believe, for every person on earth. God created us to be in connection with other people. But to fulfill that innate need, we have to go deeper and be honest; show ourselves. It's hard, I know. I don't like to share my problems either. It's hard to be the first one. It's especially hard when very few people join the endeavor. And thank God for the friendships he does bring, because they are good.

To be honest though, I have a lot of friends, each of whom are different kinds of friends. Just knowing that there is someone who cares means a whole lot!